The old Ross and Rachel debate

 Dear Peeps,

If you were a Friends fan you will understand the title of this blog. It is the age old debate that if you are on a "break" during your relationship is it ok to sleep with someone else?

If you never watched Friends, Rachel suggests they take a break from their relationship after a fight. Ross agrees, but they never discuss the specifics of the break. Ross goes to a party and sleeps with another woman, which leads to a major conflict when Rachel finds out. This situation sparks the "We were on a break" debate, as Ross claims his actions were ok because they were on a break.  The episode, which aired in 1997, is the origin of the famous "We were on a break" phrase in pop culture. 

Nova FM were discussing this again on the radio last week. I thought of Ross and Rachel straight away. 

Now I am going to jump into the debate. The Oxford Dictionary defines a break as - short period of time when you stop what you are doing.  No, you can not sleep with other people when you are on a break. If you are having a break, a short period of time away, you should be able to refrain from having sex with someone else.

The answer is clear - if you choose to sleep with someone else, the relationship is over for you. Be kind and tell the person the relationship is over before you do this or if you do it and have not broken up first, go and break up with the person. They don't need to hear you slept with someone else. Be honest and tell them the reasons you don't wish to date them anymore. You already know the reasons so just be truthful. 

The truth hurts but lies and deception destroys people. The guilty party feels sick and bad and usually projects this onto the innocent party. They did nothing wrong; just be honest. Be an adult and accept your mistakes. If the innocent party finds out, they are not only devastated you cheated but they don't know why a person, who claims to love them, would lie to them. They get it with both barrels. 

I have a lot of respect for people who own up to their lies. We all lie, we are human. 

So if you are "on a break", you do not sleep with anyone, go on dates or dating apps and see what else is out there. Work on your relationship first and if it is not working then break up!

I would like to know if you agree with Rachel's and my definition of what should happen on a break. Feel free to share any stories where this happened to you in the comments below. You can post anonymously. I would love to hear from some people with differing opinions.

Give your partner a hug tonight and tell them one reason why you love them. Take it from someone without a partner, you will miss one thing about them when they are gone.

Love, 

Ro




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