Are mental health issues a real thing?

Hi Peeps,

Please note there will be triggers for some people on this post. I do mention self harm and dark thoughts. Stop reading now if you need to. This topic is not for everyone.

I actually wrote this one many weeks ago and was deciding when would be appropriate to post. Yesterday, a young person in our community tried to take her life and it made me realise I need to post this.

I am very sorry to say I never used to think mental health was a thing. I used to believe these people just needed to get out of bed, exercise and life would improve. Oh, how the universe proved me wrong.

In 2021, I started to feel flat, nothing could make me happy. I got an amazing promotion at work and I was not even excited. That was a warning sign but I ignored it. Soon my physical health went down, I developed reflux, I could not sleep and the dark thoughts came. I told my husband at the time I was struggling and needed his help. He decided to take himself off on a solo fishing trip and left me alone with 🙈🙊🙉.

Each day I would force myself to get up and go to work, feed the kids and do what Mum's do. My body was not my own. The anxiety was burning my body. The physical sensations were almost unbearable. The burning and tingling were a constant reminder of having anxiety and depression and me not being "sane".

I had been going to a psychologist (talk therapy) but that was not working for me. The dark thoughts continued and after a few chats to my GP, I went on medication 💊The dreaded 💊, that meant I was weak. I was not strong as I needed to take meds. Boy was I wrong. I now know that asking for help is what kept me safe and alive. I was so strong to ask for help from my GP.

I was able to go off the 💊's once. I was doing things for myself for the first time in over 20 years and self care was working. However, some deeply troubling things happened, someone close to me sent me a cry for help, I focused on them to make sure they were ok and forgot myself again. Then I helped another person who was struggling and soon enough the dark thoughts returned and I went back on the meds.

I have no regrets that I helped those people because without them life would not be worth living but what I do know now is self care can be done whilst caring for others.

I started to change my thought processes. You need to rewire your brain. This book has really been helping me. A very dear friend told me about it. She used it herself and was able to stop her 💊.

I don't know if I will be able to stop the meds, only time will tell. As my psychologist said if you were a diabetic, would you take insulin? Yes, I would. I am a person with a chemical imbalance in my brain and I am taking medication for this.

I have tried talk therapy, somatic therapy, kinesiology and hypnotherapy. You need to find what works for you. If you have a lot of physical sensations I would suggest somatic therapy. I finally had a break through after 4 months with mine and now understand why I am the way I am a whole lot more.

Medication does not make you feel like your old self. It has side effects and can stop working. Therefore, I am working on my health. I have made some big changes recently and am continuing with them and this blog is part of that process.

Things like Are you OK? Day are amazing. It brings awareness to your mental health. But so many people asked me if I was ok and I said yes, I just had reflux and some gut issues to sort out. There is still a stigma in Australia regarding mental health. Even I joke when I forgot to take my crazy pill for the day.

The challenge is real. Without S&P and 🙈🙊🙉, I may not have continued to take steps forward. Some days that step was breathing, some days it was going to work, other times it was seeing a butterfly. It should have looked like me taking time off work and finding myself but it did not unfortunately until now.

I am taking 3 months off work from September and travelling to Nepal and India. I should have done this years ago but we all know sometimes we don't learn the lesson the first time, and the universe keeps reinforcing the lesson until you finally learn.

To those people who knew I was struggling, who showed up on my doorstep unannounced, made sure I ate, went for a walk and talk with me, gave me a hug when I asked for one, saw me get up and fall again and again but each time I fell a little less - thank you.

One of my 🐒's gave me this advice a little while ago - Time to put yourself first, Mum. The mental health journey will never be over but now I will prioritise it. I am putting myself first. 

Love,

Ro.