The Hardest F@#king Job in the World

Dear Peeps,

You all will have your own opinion on this but for me it is being a parent. Please notice the present tense as once you have a child, this job never stops.

As you know S&P were amazing parents (I thank the universe daily for them). I was lucky to have such great role models, and also see some other great parents like S&G, my childhood BFF's parents 👩‍❤️‍👨.

These are the people I modelled my parenting style from.

I was 24, when I had my first child - beautiful little boy 🐒. I do want to acknowledge, I had a miscarriage prior so he was not my first pregnancy. He was the first grandchild and great grandchild on my Dad's side. He was so welcomed and so loved.

Then 18 months later I gave birth to identical twin girls 🐒🐒. My son was only 10 months old when I found out I was having twins. I laughed hysterically when I found out I was having twins. Only a parent will understand why.

I was determined to be a great Mum and with the help of my ex husband we made a family. (I could not have raised them without S&P, Nan Nan and J&L, surrogate grandparents)

My tips to being a capable parent (Don't worry I stuffed up a lot):

1. Always set boundaries
2. Be active so you have the energy to play with them - that means going to the gym or playing sport yourself
3. Look at them when they are asleep - this is when you love them the most and get the energy for the next day
4. Let others help - it takes a village and kids need good relationships with other adults to thrive
5. Talk to your kids about everything - drugs, sex, mental health - in an age appropriate way
6. Show an interest in their interests even if you hate the sport, music or video game
7. Tell them you love them

Be prepared to volunteer. Local sports rely on parent helpers.

I have had some massive failures also

1. Banging the table when tutoring my daughters in maths - they failed maths for years after that traumatic experience - I got them a tutor after that episode
2. Being too busy to listen or notice changes in my child
3. Assuming they were old enough to discuss certain topics because a sibling was ready at that that age
4. and many, many more.

How do I know I did ok? Well, my kids still speak to me and want to hang out sometimes😂 (If I offer to pay for food, I see them more often😉). But most importantly, they are still alive. That became my goal after some tough times. If my child is alive, I am successful. If they speak to me, that is a bonus!

When they ring me to tell me they dropped their phone in the water, to tell me how they went on a uni exam, that they had a fight with their boyfriend or girlfriend; I am winning!! I love my kids so much. 🙈🙊🙉 mean the world to me.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world because these precious little babies grow up and you need to have raised functional humans, who contribute to society. Mine have volunteered for things, are all heading towards careers that help people and they have great friends. Winning!!

But as my Mum once said to me, I don't always like you but I always love you. Some days my kids make me cry, some days I make them cry, but in the end they know I will always be here for them.

That is why being a parent is the hardest and most rewarding job in the world.

P.S. Remember the village - your child will thank you for it.

Love,

Ro